Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i now understand why vodka
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
