I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
