i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
