Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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