Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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