i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
