Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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