We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
