He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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