So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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