best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
