It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
