I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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