there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
