think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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