I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
