I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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