We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
