Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
