drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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