Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
