We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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