Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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