yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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