I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
