the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
