she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
