Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
