Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
