rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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