He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
