Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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