Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
