I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
