mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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