Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My life is pants optional.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
