I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this just has baby written all over it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
