I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
