Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
