I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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