i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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