So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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