So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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