This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
