when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize