Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
