We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
