Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
