I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
