Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
